Jesus

Thanks Ariel.

This is the love I am beginning to know.

Tale of a Long, Frosty Winter

While I have so much to be thankful for (and much I am very happy about), this fall/winter has probably been the hardest season of life I have ever gone through. I am just getting plain exhausted. I have gone through so many trials-- so much stretching-- so much testing. I have doubted more than ever, searched harder than ever, given up more than ever.

I must admit though.. I have probably grown more than ever. I think the Lord is leading me out of naivety and opening my eyes to truth (but it hurts). I think He is ripping out sources of shallow and temporary happiness and replacing them with deep rooted, unshakable joy in Him alone (but it hurts!) I think He is leading me out of empty religion... and opening up my eyes to His LOVE! (but it hurts.)

Lately I feel hopeless, joyless, and very lost about 85% of the time. This is absolutely a season of silence -- a season of waiting. My heart is negative and near sighted these days. I need joy, inspiration, guidance, strength, hope. I need more and more and more and MORE of Jesus. I am desperate.

This is a hard place to be... yet.... I almost don't want to be in any other place. I don't mean that in some weird overly spiritual way... in a lot of ways I want to run away fast, and get on with light hearted, shallow, fun living. What I mean rather, is that.. strangely enough, I am finding beauty here. I'm finding a joy that is not circumstantial in the least. I am finding love that is SIMPLE. In a lot of ways I am being lead into true freedom. (...but it hurts.) haha.

This is a learning process, thats for sure. I think I will come out of this so much stronger, and so refined... but boy.. I need faith and strength to make it through tomorrow. I NEED Jesus. I need Him.

"You are peace, You are peace

When my fear is crippling

You are true, You are true

Even in my wandering

You are joy, You are joy

You're the reason that I sing

You are life, You are life,

In You death has lost it's sting"

I DARE YOU

to TRYYYYYYYYY and study physiological psychology while your cat persistently meows over and over and OVER.

I'm going to lose it soon.

STEPHANIE WAITE

Cheers. Aloha.

I ♥

homework. jk. im procrastinating. again. i mostly just wanted to share these sweet glasses that my mom found at the thrift store. i think i will make them my official study glasses... so that way, when i look through the lenses of love, i will have only happy, tender sentiments for my homework.

So Cute

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge."

2..

..good things on a good day.

1. This James Taylor cover

2. A frozen banana covered in cinnamon!!! I just made it up and its delishhhh. EAT IT.

Pslam 23

"The Lord is my shepherd;

I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;

he leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths,

bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid,

for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff

protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me

in the presence of my enemies.

You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

all the days of my life,

and I will live in the house of the Lord

forever."

I simply cannot get tired of this passage. It blows me away and comforts me soo deep down every time.

I am reminded again again again that if you put your happiness in temporary things, your happiness will be temporary. If you put it in eternal things, your happiness will be eternal.

The Great God Brown

"Why am I afraid to dance, I who love music and rhythm and grace and song and laughter? Why am I afraid to live, I who love life and beauty of flesh and the living colors of the earth and sky and sea? Why am I afraid to love, I who love love?"

Letters to Summer

there was a huge swell today. i love the ocean so much. i love ventura so much in all reality.

p.s. proudest moment of my week: yesterday i was using the pull down lever juicer to make fresh OJ at work and this lady who was about to order whispered to the lady next to her that i have big muscles! that is a compliment of the highest if you know me.

p.p.s.

Dear Summer,

If you read this blog, PLEASE COME SOON!

Your biggest fan,

Heather

james taylor makes me want to cry... really bad... in a good way though

Psalm 130

" From the depths of despair, O Lord,
I call for your help.
Hear my cry, O Lord.
Pay attention to my prayer.

Lord, if you kept a record of our sins,
who, O Lord, could ever survive?
But with you there is forgiveness,
that we might learn to fear you.

I am counting on the Lord;
yes, I am counting on him.
I have put my hope in his word.
I long for the Lord
more than sentries long for the dawn,
yes, more than sentries long for the dawn.

O Israel, hope in the Lord;
for with the Lord there is unfailing love.
His redemption overflows.
He himself will redeem Israel
from every kind of sin. "

Rivihood

WOW.

This rather unexpected weekend turned out amazing.

I got to hang out with so many people that I love. CBU friends, Harvest friends, CICF friends, etc.

Weekend highlights:

• Secret Spot with Brit on Friday
• Dollar Tacos
• Being with the girls from CBU
• The weather being warm enough to wear dresses all weekend
• Seeing my beloved ALYSSA CAMPOS and fast food hopping with her and brit.
• Talking with Myles in the kitchen till 2:30 (like always)
• Singing with my dearest Allona
• Driving back from Fullerton with the windows down
• Straight chillin and listening to CICF worship practice (like always)
• Getting to catch up with Ange (such a good surprise)
• Cooking with Myles (tradition)
• Pho with Brit
• Bollywood dancing with Sarah (best workout of my LIFE)
• Talking and cracking up with brittany till like 3am

And those are just the highlights.

Alas I did not bring a camera. I do however have one picture to show for myself. It certainly wouldn't be a completed trip to riverside without an accidentally super awkward picture of Lon and I. I'm not sure if we've ever taken a non awkward picture together... but who wants one of those anyway?!? I sure do love this girl.

This weekend was overall one good surprise.

With liberty and justice for all,

Binkie

On the way home from work today, I decided that 7 year old me would beat up almost 21 year old me. When I was little I was definitely a tomboy and I prided myself in being cool and tough. Nowadays I am ever-increasingly more awkward and not cool. I also somehow manage to get girly-er every day. For example, this weekend, while in my friends apartment, I saw like two minutes of the show Christy which entailed a young man singing a dying elderly woman to... death... hahaha.. and I started crying instantly.

....lets just hope I never meet 7 year old me in dark alley.

Incredible

READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

National Geographic:

Inside North Korea documentary.

Happy Monday.

"None are ruined by the justice of God but those that hate to be reformed by the grace of God."

Today I am reminded that God is holy. Period. He does not change, and so He can never accept sin. His character is one of Justice, and that being true, sin cannot go unpunished. However...

... I am reminded that Jesus took the punishment. Period. We are offered His righteousness. God offers us transformation and ever abundant grace. Redemption is yours if you want it. A clean slate (that stays clean in the eyes of God) is yours if you want it. Accept freedom and love rather than ruin.... it's already been paid for.

Best New Years Eve evvvvvvva with this sistah-frennnn.

We had Pho, mini trail adventure, fudge eating, a nap, a bonfire on the beach, worship time on the beach, countdown up above the city, and more. I love this sister so much!! She is one of the most supportive friends I have (and is one of the first people to sass me into shape when im being dumb!) I love her so much. Cheers to Royce and the friendship God has given us.

P.s. This was like our third time hanging out in the U.S. ever hahaha.

"Reality has left you reeling

All facts and no feeling

No faith and all fear"

MIRACLE

WHAOOAOAOAOOOAOAO!!!!HHHH!H!H!HH!H!H!H!H!H!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just checked my grades from fall... and guess what???? Ill just tell you cause you'll never guess. I GOT STRAIGHT A's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've never had a 4.0 in my life!!!! I've come so close a few times but this is my first set of straight A's!

wow.

Genius

Whoever invented breaks is a GENIUS. I am having the best morning evvver. Im sitting in my living room in a sleeping bag, singing songs, listening to music, reading the word, writing letters... etc. Pretty much straight chillllin. Having time like this to recharge is sooo good for the soul.

Matthew 11:25-26

"At that time Jesus prayed this prayer: “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way!"

The Kingdom of heaven is so backwards from this earth.

"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible."
-T. E. Lawrence

Within the first 30 minutes of the new year I got to see a shooting star! This could only mean one thing: 2011 is going to be a good year!