"Real World" ... whatever that even means

I am having a really hard time transitioning from my slow paced last year and summer, to my new mega fast paced stressful year.

Its not that I didn't have anything to worry about last year, or that I didn't work hard. On the contrary I did more in 9 months this last year than most people do in 5 sometimes 10 or more years. Same with this summer. I was grown and stretched a lot last year. Life was just quieter and slower than. I took things step by step.

Now I'm back in the "real world". A world very sick with the diseases of business and stress. I'm not stressing out, but I feel it all around me. My life is so loud and fast these days, even when i fight it. I haven't been able to find one place that is truly silent (or dark). (I think that just comes with living in a real city... another thing that is new to me). Even resting isn't true rest. I don't believe Americans really know how to rest, and that is a very dangerous, and disgusting disability we have brought upon ourselves.

16 units is a challenge. 16 units and a job will be even more challenging. Its not so much even time that I'm talking about though. It's the heart behind the matter.

I think my frustration right now, is that I have so much to do that I can only give everything half my effort. That just doesn't settle well. I desire so badly to be a person who honors God by giving 110% in everything I do. Instead I'm giving 40% here and 75% there. It just makes me feel scummy and fake. I know America would disagree, but once you get to that point.. that is too busy.

This all just doesn't sit right.

I'm so sick and tired of the darkness in this world. WAKE UP!